early morning

so its nearly half past 5 am in the morning (its a sat!) and i am blogging...i was up feeding ransom and i was sitting in the rocker 'writing' blogs in my head about various subjects:

my mama ... how much i love that she and i are so a like (sometimes i don't always like it:) and how she 'gets' me. i have been learning a lot about myself this past month or so since i have been keeping a new home here. i have to be busy being productive. she pointed it out - she is going to start bringing her knitting to home group b/c she feels like time is wasted if she doesn't get anything done - she said i am so busy these days that i need something to do - how funny i said to her and ironic and then i realized i am the same way. if i have a few hours by myself to 'kill' i will most likely have an agenda - a list. i have to hit all the items or i don't feel i was successful (at least some of the items). i am so used to have to get in a store and boom, boom, boom hit all the items, b/c the kids don't last long in a store and i have three to contend with. sometimes i am 'doing things' from the time i get up to the time i lay my head on the pillow without ever even sitting down for a 15 min break. i think that i need to change this. of course it goes against my very dna but i am going to start at last trying to sit and relax. and the next time i do have a free time to do errands i am going to use a little of the time to just BE. so thank you to mama for pointing out this characteristic that i share with you. its good to know oneself. i am enjoying this aspect of getting older - i am 29 now.

my kids ... i had THE BEST day with them (which i attribute to the prayers of my mama yesterday for me). rhys decided to start saying "yeah" when i ask her something - instead of just nodding yes!! then she said "please" with her sign and "thank you" a long with her sign. what a new thing, a new joy to here her communicate with her voice. this week she has been pointing to her self and saying "i'm barbie" - which is translated as "i am the princess" - she dresses up with her sister in princess clothes, old hats and these rediculous disney princess clip clop shoes. i have to contain my laughter when she walks in for a round of applause and approval. she is such a little girl now - not my baby. well sometimes she is my baby:)

my husband ... there is word in the office that the nwc has been taxed with finding a Lt. for an IA (individual augmentation) to iraq. (sorry to all you civilians who have to read this!) now there are two spots they need to fill. one for over a year (100 days in CONUS [in the states] training) and a year in theatre (iraq). the other for 6 months. since graham is the ONLY Lt at the nwc he is the one they have on their list. however, b/c of hardships (ie my brother dying, just having a third and so close together and my post pardum depression) he may be able to dodge it. his bosses are trying to send the request over to another part of the base. will you please pray for us. i got a little nervous yesterday when he brought it up again. with a twinkle in his eye he said part of him really wants to go and be a part of the adventure. (which i really find sexy and for which i am so proud to hear him say). he is learning arabic on the side for his master's degree and i know that there is an allure to it all. but then he would be gone at least six months.

my friend ... stacy gunter sent me an blog about valentine's day. the thing that is so amazing is that in her blog she talked about how she and her husband andy had decided a few years ago on vday that they were NOT going to get a divorce and that their love was worth it. two days ago i had just found a set of pics of her wedding reception from back in 1997 or 98. she got married in the middle of our sophmore year at liberty. we all were just kids. she was our first friend to get married. now they have been married not quite ten years. its a beautiful thing to see that the lord kept them together. and now they have a gorgeous little munchkin named ezra who is such a doll (yes ez is a girl!) my granola friend and her cute little family are going to do ywam in australia soon too. they are so adventurous - such pioneers. and we reconnected through my friend megan whose husband went to hs with andy. all through myspace.com - well at least that site is good for something:)

jesse my brother ... when i was changing ransom after i fed him this morning and we were giggling together and having a special moment i realized, as i said to him, that jesus took jesse but then he gave me ransom - how very true even his name is. and my little son (well he is a big 4 1/2 mo old) looked up at me with these big blue eyes and a toothy grin, and i decided that i couldn't wait to begin telling him stories about my little brother who became a man.

so that is my blog entry this sat morning before my little ones and my sweet husband wake up. i might just go back to bed or maybe i will make myself a cup of tea and light some candles downstairs and read the word. something i haven't done in a few days. something that i want to do more of and something that will be my sanity when the storm is raging all around me.

jesus you are the lighthouse that beckons me ... i lay all my burdens down at the foot of the cross.